The ship of horror
On one special day, two sisters went on a
cruise. They had an opportunity to go under water, to explore. Both girls went
so deep under water they could hardly see anything. After a while, they were starting
to hallucinate. They had seen a broken down old ship, it was yellow with some green algae was gingerly on it. They wanted to explore, and what
they discovered was gold, in a treasure
chest. However a mermaid guarded it, so
they did not get too close. After a while they had suddenly stopped
hallucinating, and went up to the surface, after their remarkable journey
under water they had made a book about it.
it was yellow with some green algae was gingerly on it. This sentence of yours doesn't make sense,you should have phrased it so it read, it was yellow with green algae laying gingerly on top of it.
ReplyDeleteThey wanted to explore, and what they discovered was gold.In a treasure chest. A mermaid guarded it however, so they did not get too close. After a while they had suddenly stopped hallucinating. They went up to the surface, after their remarkable journey under water they wanted to make a book about it.
That's your story, I just made some fixes.
All in all,you have a really good story!